its depression, i know it.
it doesnt show, but its there.
when you arent around, its a different me.
and i think i know why.
i havent purpose.
you see, mankind for so long has done so much, been so active.
but i was born into a time where this thing they call a warrior is something you only see in the movies.
we have no war.
no major struggle.
all we have to fight against is our indecision when it comes to materialistic things.
we choose our clothes, and our items to match what society and the media wants us to buy.
people dont care about others they care about themselves, their appearance, and how famous they can become.
there was once a time when fame meant doing something so courageous for ones people that history itself would not forget you.
now it means how much money you have.
or what movies youve been in.
or how many people listen to your music.
and so yes, i am depressed, i dont go more than a day when i stop and realize wasted this goddamn country is.
i am depressed that the only way i can even think of being something in this world is to leave this country and take photos.
war,
poverty,
starvation,
this is what i want to endure,
this is what i want the world to see,
i believe the images i can capture may be able to change people, even if for one second,
but first, i have to deal with so much of my own bullshit, which is selfish, yes, but i need to take care of some things before i can do what i have always dreamed of doing...
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3 comments:
hmm, well i dont think history was any more valiant than today. really there was not much ever fought for that really meant a thing. all the famous people... besides a few, were fighting the same types of fights you see now, in the name of themselves in order to gain for themselves. The only fights worth anything were those of Siddhartha, Gandhi, MLK Jr, and the few others who had true idealism unphased by selfishness, society, or money.
but the last part... the part where everything angers you so much that you just want to leave, that is the good that comes from how fucked up everything is. if you now have the motivation to make a change this world needs, that is what all this shit is for.
anyway, i know you have your head on straight in this respect. but for now, you do live in this society and you do have obligations you need to fulfill to get where you are going. it is going to take some work...
no, i think you are wrong on the first part. the wars i speak of were fought be men on the battlefield. hand to hand, or sword to sword. not on the other side of the world from behind a computer. and i am not even talking about the wars we have today, im talking about how we have no huge war, or great depression. the fact that people spend their whole lives working a job they hate just so they can live. but i dont believe those people to be living, they gave up on their dreams and desires and are stuck doing something completely worthless.
"all the famous people... besides a few, were fighting the same types of fights you see now, in the name of themselves in order to gain for themselves" not true, many fought for what they believed in, in the name of religion or to please their ancestors. look at the samurai, they devoted their lives every day to the perfection of every task they took activity to. today we give as much as we have to to not get fired or receive a bad grade. and our war right now is being fought because one man wanted to make more money with his families oil industry.
yes, Siddhartha, Gandhi, and MLK Jr were great fights in the history of the world, but thats what i mean, WE HAVE NOTHING LIKE THAT, there is nothing for us to actively and largely stand up against, and even if we did people dont care. they are too wrapped up in material possessions and personal gain to give a rats ass about the starving people in africa, or the destruction going on in rawanda, or the fact that the united states has in its power enough nuclear weapons to obliterate a planet 52000 times its size.
i, as a human being, have nothing to make me wise, or experienced in the cruelties of this planet by first hand knowledge. our grandparents, they have been through wars, and holocausts, have seen so much and lived vibrant memorable lives. they have lived for something more than advertisement and objects. they have lived for their country and have served to the best of their ability. our country now is fat and disobedient. and it depresses me more and more every day.
i am done rambling now...
ok james, no, no, no. The wars we fight today are the same as the wars we fought before. over money, over land, over religion, ect. just because we have better technology doesnt make the motives any different, any less, or any more valiant. look at what really sparked the vietnam war, WWI, WWII? what was really different about those motives?
your words that you are speaking are being spoken through the mind that is a product of this world you hate.
you WANT a big war that could destroy the entire world? you WANT the great depression? why? so you can feel like there is something to fight for? so you feel like this world has meaning beyond material?
MLK was not very long ago. not at all. so dont tell me "we dont have anything like." what you have lived is a tiny blip of the history you have heard of. there was "lost year" like these today, in which nothing happened... which is why we didnt hear about them. this country, and this world are in so many conflicts that date back to times where in your eyes, things mattered more. but not much has changed in that sense.
you do not have anything to culture you except knowledge, and whatever experience you are able to gain by traveling and seeing the desolateness around the world. but obviously you have been cultured enough by your knowledge of injustice that it has sparked an anger in you. and that is all you need.
forget everything else. you can be the person we need.
but its up to you.
nyg use to tell me "your anger is a gift." use it.
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